History Lesson Lyrics - Stephen Lynch

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Stephen:
I have to redo the vocals for medieval bush.
Friends:
Why?
Stephen:
Cause i said 1570's xxxx instead of 1470's xxxx and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century.
Friends:
Wait! so how do you know this?
Stephen:
Cause i used to be a teacher.
Friends:
(laugh)you used to be a teacher?
Stephen:
Yes
Friend:
Professor?
Stephen:
No, i taught elementary school and i got fired for i had an unorthodox way of teaching. in which i would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids.
Friend:
Of course you did.
Stephen:
Okay, okay let me find a lesson for you... ben franklin
"ben franklin went out one night,
Tied a key to the end of a kite,
Electricity struck so bright,
Write it down muthafuckas"
Friends:
You called the kids motherfuckers?
Stephen:
Some of them were xxxxxxxxxxxxx yes.
Friends:
Science
Stephen:
Um...
"issac newton sat under a tree,
An apple hit him in the head so he,
Said holy xxxx that's gravity,
So write it down muthafuckas"
I have a million of theses.
Friends:
Pilgrims
Stephen:
Okay... hey...
"pilgrims raced against the clock,
Lookin for a place to dock,
They said xxxx it here's plymouth rock,
Write it down muthafuckas."
Friends:
I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy.
Stephen:
I'm not implying anything.
Friend:
Wright brothers
Stephen:
Uh...
"a dude named orville wright,
Told his brother lets invinflight,
So wilbur said "ight",
Write it down muthafuckas"
Yes, he said "ight"
Friend:
Wilbur said "ight"?
Stephen:
In my story he did.
Friend:
Wilbur was street in your story?
Stephen:
Yes
Friend:
Word
Stephen:
See, you can't stump me
Friend:
Slavery?
Stephen:
Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...
"abe lincoln lead the nation,
Freed slaves form the plantations,
Inmansa-muthafucka-proclamation,
Write it down anaem-ops."
Friend:
Gandhi!
Stephen:
Uh... i did not have one for him. uh... hold on, hold on. gandhi... uh... alright.
(slowly) "gandhi is what you said,
An indian with a bald head,
He was a bit under fed,
Write is down muthafuckas!"
Fried from that job!
Friend:
Your a genius.

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