3 Balloons Lyrics - Stephen Lynch

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I call you from the car to say i'll be there in a while
A short plane ride and i will get to see your pretty smile
There's nothing on the radio- i fiddle with the dial
Then i see a sign- the airports just another mile

I check my bags and think about how much i hate to fly
And as i near security i almost start to cry

Well i hope that law enforcement agents can't tell from my face
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and i'm nervous and i need a little air
Cause with 4 balloons of heroin it's getting crowded up in there
Crowded up in there

My mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise
Relax, i say, it's not so bad- it might feel kinda nice
Besides, who hasn't had a finger up there ince or twice?

I must remember don't leave any drugs inside the host
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed

Well i say a little prayer- hail maria, full of grace
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
I'm sweating and i'm nervous and i need a little air
And i swear i'm farting lines of blow into my underwear
From my derriere

I was a little eager when i loaded up my stash
5 balloons of ecstasy, 6 balloons of hash
8 balloons of l.s.d, 9 of sensi mild
A box of chinese fireworks- a guatemalan child

I've made it to the gate now and my joy i can't contain
I board the aircraft; take my seat in the cockpit of the plane

As i taxi down the runway, i get a smile on my face
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
Flight crew prepare for takeoff as i lift us into air
And by the way, does anyone want to buy a guatemalan child?
From my derriere

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