The Worlds Greatest Statutory Rapist Lyrics - Mad Tv

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(Scene outside R. Kelly's dressing room- Girl Scout approaches Security Guard)

*Dialogue*
Young Girl: I wanna see R. Kelly!
Guard: R. Kelly's not seeing anyone
Young Girl: But I'm selling Girl Scout cookies! (smiles)
R. Kelly: (speaking to the guard) Yo, let the kid in, man

[Lyrics - Aries Spears as R. Kelly]
Little girls like me
Handsome young singer
Oh, that's why I got you
Wrapped 'round my finger
I got a camera
Soon I'll be shootin' us
Oh, I like 'em young like
Jerry Lee Lewis
Girl, I'm so glad you came backstage
If anybody asks
Lie about your aaagggee!

Pay no attention to my friends
Smile, look into the lens
I'll record it
Just don't report it
Don't worry, I've done this before
I've got tapes stacked on the floor
I'm the greatest
Statutory rapist

Ohhh, woah, ohh-ho
Hasn't been long since
You played with your dolls
But grass on the field means
You can play ball
Battery's runnin'
All out of power
Oh, looks like I won't take
My golden shower
Don't tell the authorities my name
Now I gotta go
Sing at the Olympic games

You're my Princess, I'm your Prince
I'll take one box of thin mints
I'll pay ya later
Ya' little jailbaiter
I guess it doesn't make much sense
I've created evidence
To show I'm the greatest
Statutory rapist

I believe I can get away with it
Ohhh, woah-ho, woah
Hooooo, woah-oh-oh
Yeah-ha-ha
Woah-ho
Yeah-ah-ah-ah woah, ho
Hoooo

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