Deep End Lyrics - Josh Martinez

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last night i broke
something finally snapped.
i’m in a corner trapped
you spoke i smoked and sat
still soaking wet reckon i’d die if i’m mistaken.
it was all in vain, for the sane i’ve forsaking.

every one i know is insane. they’ve got madness in the brain.
going going gone off the deep end on the edge of profane profound pain
i xxxx down tylenol 3 if i’m at all free.
noone called to say they cared going bald
having bared my soul i pull my hair until i tear the roots out.
why do i doubt? i can’t control my mind,
follow the line falling behind it’s all in my mind.
man its happening all the time. i didn’t wake up inspired,
i haven’t even slept yet. i’m not tired.
i’m wide awake for another night of walking the thin wires
between the demons and the genius this inspires.
i am slowly going crazy...6,5,4,3,2,1 spit.
sweat dripping from my lips and i can feel myself slipping
into states beyond your grip and on cue i do a back flip.
and find myself drifting into lifting off looking off a cliff
and thinking should i jump when something starts to happen.
that creeps its way through my circuits when it works its way in deeper.
doing all nighters all too often i can’t sleep.
screamin' the grim reaper cometh. spreading seeded plague.
telling me i’ll bring the demon, you bring the egg.
i just want to touch that sanity,
begging on my knees please relieve me of what’s left of this vanity
and what’s that sound?
my eyes bugging out of head, i can’t stop brain please shut down,
for once and leave me alone in this basement,
all night and all day, i'll pay rent and live in the hallway.
so say those who turned to god as they prayed,
with frayed rope i let go and watch it all fade away.

as i nervously waited finding my way to breach surface,
i was elated with each purpose. so glad we made it.
she seemed so seemlessly sedated with senseless fists clenched.
the stench overwhelming. my whole body tensed.
i wrench the monkey from my back, pack my bags soak the rags
in gas take a last look back. and (blast off). then (black out)
i pop pills (on the 1) to stop chills running up my spine,
every day’s a little better i lose a little more of my mind.
my tidal wave emotions pave the hopeless stain
blood spreading through the grain
and growing into flowers turning everything it touches that is plain
into powers that initiate change like cold showers in the rain.
on whose broken maimed streets i’ve laid in the dirt.
on whose shoes i spit shine but never called it work.
on whose shirt i’ve both bled and cried on,
on whose walls i write my name with a can of red krylon.
i wanna get beyond the long arm of the law.
and loot the crops and boot the cops from the corners
and the doctors from the clinics.
get in free win a new saturn see a pattern yet?
apparently you’re not a doctor.
well give me my methadone, you’re not so hot you can’t be touched.
such thoughts should be stricken from the records sick of everybody’s questions.
let me ask you this. have you ever lost your mind?
and gone blind but didn't mind the mining of your mind for diamonds,
when i'm in the business of making what's yours mine
and my mind is fine but i've lost it...6,5,4,3,2,1 spit.
i need a new pearl of wisdom for this black cloud to follow.
i act proud and swallow pride intact although i’m not allowed to wallow
on the inside. i act introverted.
but i made a pact with laughter and it's perverted
the very thoughts the doctor’s were after
until disaster struck i was the king of the castle,
the slave and the vassal, the ways of the mistress and masters
crazed craving for power, that's what i’m after.
i need a new pearl of wisdom curled up positon hazy,
feel the real fade and kiss the closest thing you know to crazy.
watch it all fade away...

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