A Louse Is Not A Home Lyrics - Hammill Peter

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Sometimes it's very scary here; sometimes it's very sad;sometimes i think i'll disappear; betimes i think i have.there's a line snaking down my mirror :splintered glass distorts my faceand though the light is strong and strangeit can't illuminate the musty corners of this place.there is a lofty lonely lohengrenic castle in the clouds --i draw my murky meanings therebut seven years' dark luck is just around the cornerand in the shadows lurks the spectre of despair.a cracked mirror mid the drapes of the landing :split image labored understanding ----i'm only trying to find a place to hide my home ....i've lived in houses composed of glasswhere every movement is chartedbut now the monitor screens are darkand i can't tell if silent eyes are there.my words are spiders upon the pagethey spin out faith hope and reason ----but are they meet and just or only dust gathering about my chair?sometimes i get the feeling that there'ssomeone else there :the faceless watcher makes me uneasyi can feel him through the floorboards and his presence is creepy ----he informs me that i shall be expelled ....what is that but out of and into :i don't know the nature of the door that i'd go throughi don't know the nature of the nature that i am inside ....i've lived in houses of brick and leadwhere all emotion is sacredand if you want to devour the fruityou must first sniff at the fragranceand lay your body before the shrinewith poems and posies and papers ----or if you catch the ruse you'll have to chooseto stay a monk or leave a vagrant.what is this place you call home?is it a sermon or a confession?is it the chalice that you use for protection?is it really only somewhere you can stay?is it a rule-book or a lecture?is it a beating at the hands of your protector?does the idol have feet of clay?home is what you make it so my friends all saybut i rarely see their homes in these dark days.some of them are snails and carry houses on their backs;others live in monuments which one day will be racks --i keep my home in place with sellotape and tin-tacksbut i still feel there's some other force here :he who cracks the mirrors and moves the wallskeeps staring through the eye-slits of the portraits in my hall;he ravages my library and taps the telephone --i've never actually seen himbut i know he's in my homeand if he goes awayi can't stay here either.i believe -- er -- i think --well i don't know ......i only live in one room at a timebut all of the walls are ears all the windows eyes :everything else is foreign'home' is my wordless chant :mmmmmaah!give it a chance!i am surrounded by flesh and bonei am a temple of livingi am a hermit i am a droneand i am boning out a place to be.with secret garlands about my headunearthly silence is broken :the room is growing dark and in the stark lighti can see a face i know ----could this be the guy who never showsthe cracked mirror what he's feelingmerely mumbles prayers to the ground where he's kneeling :"home is home is home is home is home is home is me!"all you people looking for your housesdon't throw your weight around you might break your glassesand if you do you know you just can't seeand then how are you to find the dawning of the day?--- day is just a word i use to keep the dark at bayand people are imaginary nothing else existsexcept the room i'm sitting inand of course the all-pervading mist ---sometimes i wonder if even that's real ....maybe i should de-louse this place;maybe i should de-place this louse;maybe i'll maybe my life awayin the confines of this silent house.sometimes it's very scary here; sometimes it's very sad;sometimes i think i'll disappear; sometimes i think ..... "

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