Condomnation Lyrics - Bob And Tom

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If i have a date and i think i'm gonna mount her
I go to the drugstore and head to the counter.
I get what i need and i put it in my wallet.
It's the same old thing no matter what you call it.

A condom
A scrote coat
A manhole cover
A pork cork
A clam dam
A plain ol' rubber
A head shed
A knob swab
A third leg stocking.

It's all the same when your bed starts rockin'. oh my.

If you wanna meet me for a little tryst
Put a coney island white fish on your shoppin' list.
Slip it on when you're getting hot.
Then no one has to sleep on the gooey spot.

Get a gent tent
A carp tarp
A halt leg trouser
A wood hood
A clap cap
A doogie houser
A wank tank
A root boot
A prophylactic.

It'll look real slick in a johnson jacket.
Wrap that rascal up in a salami sling.

When you hit the sack
You're ready jack
To do the nasty thing.

Put on a jock sock
A beav sleeve
A canyon coaster
A ball shawl
A spunk trunk
A love gun holster
A meat sheet
A goose noose
A rod partition.

Do the math. there's no new addition.

I met a young lady in a single's bar.
Pretty soon we're getting naked in my car.
Now she tells me i'm gonna be a dad.
I could kick myself 'cause i wish i had on

A xxxx moat
A stilt kilt
A large load stopper
A boom balloon
Or a totem pole topper
A wad pod
A wet suit
A gonad girdle.

Cause you never know when she might be fertile.
Neutralize your schlong with a dong sarong.
When you're in bed use a tickler head
And she'll think you're king kong.

Wear a love glove
A squirt shirt
A gland end gorda
A bone beret
A flesh fedora.

Put one on every time you make it
And hope to god that you don't break it!

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