Bizarre Christmas Incident Lyrics - Ben Folds

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(feat. norah jones)
(the following song is brought to you by chex mix)

Some dude once said that love is a many funny things
I know there's a perfect girl out there for me, cuz i see her
In my dreams

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love

Dream girl you amaze me all dressed in paisley
Love how not one but both eyes are lazy
When i first saw you you were drivin' the bus
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros

Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crumby
Skin like asphalt, nose so runny
Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world
You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl

If you envision in sweats with the neon patch
Half eaten squirrel hangin' outta your mouth
Rainbow poncho, the female tonto
Hear a loud noise drop a bucket like a bronco

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love

You got your cellphone ring set to sex and the city
You like a hot bowl of gritz only way more gritty
Straight drippin' your turquoise my santa fe queen
One short leg you got the santa fe lean

It's music to my ears when you scream in your sleep
And when you lift your skirt in public yo i can't help but peek
You like cleopatra with the eyes of a pig
Love to watch you in the backer when you go out to dig

Girl how'd you get those mouse traps glued to your neck
Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck?
You put away slurpees like a trash can

Your smiles all stainy and your not too brainy and
I like that!

Talking to your shoes lke it's your friend
I like that!

Yellin' at the walls of make pretend
I like that!

Tellin' you to stop it then you don't
You said you gonna stop it in my sleep
But you won't!

Last week thought i saw you on the straight turn that was a bag of trash
Just a big ol' bag of trash
I thought you look like a bag of trash

Dream girl i pitch a tent when you stomp in the room
Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon
Your sexy and your spicy like a bowl of chex mix
And i always feel safe when i'm in your flesh mitts

Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were british
Never take the chex mix cuz you always get skinnish
Open clamps with both feet cuz your ambidextrous
No point cuz we know you eat nothin' but chex mix

Chex mix number one food snack in the land
It's the cereal taste that you eat with your hand
Chex mix at your local grocer buy your box
Your family will all say
Chex mix rocks!

Chex mix, your the snack for me, your the only one
I'll ever eat or buy
Chex mix your delicious, you got 60% less fat than potato chips
The end

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