Taylor Big - Le Machine Lyrics

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I got a little gal with an appetite

She's got me half-scared to go home at night;

I never seen a woman so hard to please.

She got me worn out got me weak in my knees

I can't take my rest she won't let me sleep

And she's made me promise things i can't keep;

So i went downtown to the novelty shop;

Told the storekeeper want the best he's got;

He said he keeps the finest line of marital aids

But they ain't cheap toys have i means to pay.

I said i got a visa and a mastercard

At least a thousand dollar trade-in if he'll take my car.

He took me to the back room and opened the safe

And off the shelf pulled a red velvet case.

Said "this is only offered to select clientele

Where you got it you must never tell;

It's a military secret here and abroad

And everywhere else it's against the law".

"it's got a microprocessor and eight meg of ram

A thousand selectable user programs

And the operating system has biofeeds

It always knows what your baby needs.

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The thrills and excitement that she fantasize

Through virtual reality are realized".

"it can run automatic or manual control

Variate its temperature from hot to cold

It caresses and manipulates it tickles and stings

Her erogenous zones - it makes her little bells ring;

And medically proven and clinically safe

Its got safety overload features just in case".

"its got a eight hundred number user hotline

Ain't no elevator music there to waste your time;

The replacement guarantee is the very best

You get a new one shipped air freight express;

It simply is the finest model we've ever seen

The french women call it 'le machine'".

I got peace of mind got contentment and bliss

I never knew that love could be as easy as this.

I can stay up late now and watch tv

Or turn in early as the mood suits me;

And my baby loves me for what i've done

She says i'm "the only man allowed to power on!"

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