Brad Paisley - Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday Lyrics

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And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents

A special holiday edition of the adventures of the kung pao buckaroos

Well its a kung pao buckaroo holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If youre easily offended well thats okay

Its a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold

December night huddled around the camp fire.

How bout we sing some holiday songs?

Yeah hey george you wanna lead us off?

Yeah i got one.

Oh chri-biip-mas tree oh chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thy branches

Why am i getting blipped again?

Havent you heard guys? you cant say chri-biip-mas you gotta say holiday

I cant say chri-biip-mas?

No you might offend somebody.

Who is offended by chri-biip-mas?

You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.

What?

Time to politically correct.

Ill lead this off.

On the first day of chri-biip-mas my true love sent to me

Jimmy are you listening?

What?

You cant say chri-biip-mas.

Why not?

You can say biiiip on the last record.

Why cant i say chri-biip-mas?

I didnt make the rules.

Hey listen guys its not that difficult

All you gotta do is change chri-biip-mas to holiday.

You know instead of saying white chri-biip-mas you say

Im dreaming of a whi-biiip holiday.

Why did i get blipped?

Youve got to say caucasian.

So i have to sing im dreaming of a caucasian holiday?

Sure that wont offend anybody.

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Well its a kung pao buckaroo holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If youre easily offended well thats okay

Why do these people have to feel that way?

How come they get offended so easily?

Its a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

Im just trying to come up with a song here.

Lets sing one together everybody ready? george?

Ready.

Bill your ready?

Im ready.

Jimmy? jimmy? jimmy?

Okay!

We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts weve traveled really far.

Sorry boys you have to say asia now.

What?

Oh come on just try.

I've gotta get hyped up for this

We three kings of asia are.

That sounds like horse biiiip

Oh lord okay. how bout little drummer boy?

Nope that offends short people.

And you cant say drummer cause that will offend real musicians.

How bout little "hahaha- town of bethlehem?

Whats this with all the short jokes?

Hey how bout we do silent night?

No 'cause it offends people hard of hearin' and afraid of the dark.

What did he say about a shark?

Shark?

This happens every year.

Well its a kung pao buckaroo holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If youre easily offended well thats okay

Its a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Hohoho!

No.

I cant say ho?

No you might offend some women.

So basically we cant sing anything?

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.

Softer george its more effective.

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.

You now what? i dont care who we offend

Im gonna sing chri-biip-mas carols if i wanna sing chri-biip-mas carols.

Louder bill its more effective.

I dont care who we offend

Im gonna sing chri-biip-mas carols if i wanna sing chri-biip-mas carols.

Me too.

We wish you a merry chri-biip-mas we wish you a merry chri-biip-mas

We wish you a merry chri-biip-mas and a happy ne-biip year.

You cant say new; itll offend the old folks.

And you better not offend them.

Us.

Yeeaahhh

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