Stephen Lynch - History Lesson Lyrics

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Stephen:

I have to redo the vocals for Medieval Bush.

Friends:

Why?

Stephen:

Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century.

Friends:

Wait! So how do you know this?

Stephen:

Cause I used to be a teacher.

Friends:

(Laugh)You used to be a teacher?

Stephen:

Yes

Friend:

Professor?

Stephen:

No, I taught elementary school and I got fired for I had an unorthodox way of teaching. In which I would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids.

Friend:

Of course you did.

Stephen:

Okay, okay let me find a lesson for you... Ben Franklin

"Ben Franklin went out one night,

Tied a key to the end of a kite,

Electricity struck so bright,

Write it down muthafuckas"

Friends:

You called the kids motherfuckers?

Stephen:

Some of them were motherfuckers yes.

Friends:

Science

Stephen:

Um...

"Issac Newton sat under a tree,

An apple hit him in the head so he,

Said holy shit that's gravity,

So write it down muthafuckas"

I have a million of theses.

Friends:

Pilgrims

Stephen:

Okay... hey...

"Pilgrims raced against the clock,

Lookin for a place to dock,

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They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,

Write it down muthafuckas."

Friends:

I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy.

Stephen:

I'm not implying anything.

Friend:

Wright Brothers

Stephen:

Uh...

"A dude named Orville Wright,

Told his brother lets invinflight,

So Wilbur said "ight",

Write it down muthafuckas"

Yes, he said "ight"

Friend:

Wilbur said "ight"?

Stephen:

In my story he did.

Friend:

Wilbur was street in your story?

Stephen:

Yes

Friend:

Word

Stephen:

See, you can't stump me

Friend:

Slavery?

Stephen:

Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...

"Abe Lincoln lead the nation,

Freed slaves form the plantations,

Inmansa-muthafucka-proclamation,

Write it down anaem-ops."

Friend:

Gandhi!

Stephen:

Uh... I did not have one for him. Uh... hold on, hold on. Gandhi... Uh... alright.

(Slowly) "Gandhi is what you said,

An Indian with a bald head,

He was a bit under fed,

Write is down muthafuckas!"

Fried from that job!

Friend:

Your a genius.

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