Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris... Lyrics

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One way system " smooth and commendable

Go by bus " theyre highly dependable

The swings in the park for the kids have won awards

The clean streets acknowledged in the lords

But whats a park if you cant see a linnet?

A timetable if your journeys infinite?

My bags packed and im leaving in a minute

For what is chatteris without you in it?

Car crimes low the gun crimes lower

The town hall band cd its a grower

You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce

Although there was a drive-by shouting once

But theres a brass band everywhere

And i dont drive so i dont care

And as a nightingale sang in berkeley square

Whats chatteris if youre not there?

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Like a game-bird reserve short on pheasants

Weavers cottages devoid of tenants

A market town that lacks quintessence

Thats chatteris without your presence

Three good butchers two fine chandlers

An indoor pool and a first class cake shop

Ofsted plaudits envy of the fens

Prick barriers at both ends

But whats chatteris if youre not there?

Whats chatteris if youre not there?

Whats chatteris if youre not there?

Whats chatteris if youre not there?

Whats chatteris if youre not there?

Whats chatteris if youre not there?

I may as well be in ely or st.ives

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