Does Taylor Swift Bully Her Exes With Her Songs?

Would we be just as supportive of a male artist slamming all his famous female exes? Does Taylor Swift Bully Her Exes With Her Songs?

Taylor Swift definitely knows how to write songs that connect with listeners.  In her early days, it was her sweet innocence and fairy-tale lyrics that won us over with tracks like “Love Story” and “You Belong With Me.”  Then, she got into the Hollywood dating scene and all of that began to change.  Suddenly, she was passive-aggressively taking aim at the men who she felt wronged her in some way. 

One of the earliest examples is her song “Forever and Always” which was from her album, Fearless.  It was pretty obvious that it was about Disney star, Joe Jonas, with whom she had recently broken up.  Among the snarky lyrics is: "Was I out of line? / Did I say something way too honest? / That made you run and hide like a scared little boy?"

Isn’t that something that a bully would say?  If it was a male artist calling his ex-girlfriend “a pathetic little girl” wouldn’t we all be a little more outraged?

Next there was “Back to December” from her Speak Now album which was meant to be an apology to Taylor Lautner who, she says, was “perfect” to her in their relationship even though she was “really careless” with him.  Lyrics include: “This is me swallowing my pride / Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night / And I go back to December all the time / It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you / Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine / I go back to December, turn around and make it all right.”

At least that time she was admitting that she had been the guilty party but what if Lautner didn’t want his personal business out there?  What if he didn’t want people feeling pity for him every time they heard this song?  Is it right that he doesn’t have a choice in the matter?

Then, of course, there was the more controversial “Dear John” song  (which was also from Speak Now) which included the words: “Dear John, I see it all, now it was wrong / Don’t you think 19 is too young to be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?”

Naturally, everyone, including John Mayer, assumed that the track was about him, a much older man who was rumored to have had some sort of romantic relationship with Swift.  Mayer recently said that the song made him “feel terrible because [he] didn’t deserve it.”  He added: “I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do.”  The singer also explains that he was caught off guard and “humiliated” because he was already in a low place and had never even received an email or a phone call from Swift explaining how she was feeling.

He seemed to sum up the situation by adding: “I will say as a songwriter that I think it’s kind of cheap songwriting.  I know she’s the biggest thing in the world, and I’m not trying to sink anybody’s ship, but I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait till he gets a load of this!’ That’s bull—-.”

In response to that, Swift was very recently asked about the situation. The interviewer mentioned that Mayer assumed that the song was about him to which the young country star replied: "How presumptuous! I never disclose who my songs are about."  Well… the song is called “Dear John” so it’s not that far-fetched, is it?

That’s where the interview, which was with ABC’s Cynthia McFadden, took an interesting turn.  McFadden, speaking for Mayer, began with: "He said he felt …"  Swift wouldn’t even let the woman finish and interrupted by saying: "No! I don't want to know, I don't want to know. I know it wasn't good, so I don't want to know. I put a high priority on staying happy, and I know what I can't handle."

Being a responsible reporter, McFadden asked if hearing his words would be too much for the young artist to hear.  Her response?  "It's not that I'm this egomaniac and I don't want to hear anything negative, because I do keep myself in check.  But I've never developed that thick a skin. So I just kind of live a life, and I let all the gossip live somewhere else.”

What if John Mayer or Joe Jonas or Taylor Lautner have also never developed that “thick skin” she spoke about?  What if they don’t want to be gossiped about in a song that the entire world knows the words to? 

It hasn’t stopped, though.  Her latest hit, “We Are Never Getting Back Together” is said to be about Jake Gyllenhaal.  The song basically makes the ex-boyfriend sound like a game-playing, manipulative stalker and, again, you’ve got to wonder if any of this is fair. 

Is it right to write about the demise of a relationship with another famous person in such an obvious way?  Aren’t celebrities already too deprived of privacy?  Isn’t it a bit like bullying to have us all laughing about what a jerk so-and-so was to sweet little Taylor Swift?  Does John Mayer have it right?  Is this an abuse of her talent and fame?

Weigh in.

Written on Oct 05 2012 by Jeanne Dupuis (Google+ profile), writer at KOvideo. Tags: taylor swift john mayer joe jonas jake gyllenhaal


Kaylin Longbottom 10p 1 year ago

You forgot to mention "Ours" which is rumored to be about John Mayer too. "And I love the riddles that you speak/And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored/'Cause my heart is yours"

Also, calling her a bully for writing an apology for Taylor Lautner is just kind of weird. I'm sure he would've said some mean things or wouldn't smile at her at some award show if he hated the song. :') Btw, Sad Beautiful Tragic is also about Taylor Lautner. (Another sweet song).


david penna 10p 1 year ago

Taylor Swift can write songs, as long as she seems to have someone to vent on. She appears to be a " Serial Relationship Drama Queen ". I mean COME ON, she bought a house next to a Kennedy after a few weeks of dating, then goes all " Gold Record " on his **** ?? the ONLY thing ALL these guys have in common is they were all STUPID ENOUGH to date her in the first place. and for all you REAL Fans out there, Taylor Swift can NOT SING ON KEY to save her life, you will NEVER EVER EVER Hear an A CAPELLA national anthem that wasnt pre recorded and electronically fixed. All her vocals are " tweaked ", and no that isnt OK, because what you HEAR isnt what is being SUNG, thats just fraud people have turned a blind eye to, cause she's cute and so heartbroken and writes so well and blahh blahh blahh bullspit...
She can write, as long as she has yet another crappy relationship to write about, either way over the top I will love you for ever n ever n ever n ever or I will wish and pray and hope you die slowly for ever n ever n ever n ever.. OMG, even I can write this crap...


Mamaie Delafetesti 32p 1 year ago

Thank you. Your words express my entirely opinion.


Peggy Allen 15p 2 years ago

Firstly, i find it so weird how the author of this wrote, "in her early days...Love Story...You Belong With Me," and then mentions "Forever & Always." Those songs were released the exact same year on the same album, meaning that really we fell in love with her from the moment she mentions boys in her songs, which is also weird because she doesn't actually reference Joe in that song.

Secondly, she is one of the few singers that sings from the heart, making her the songs that she writes herself more real by using FIRST names.

Thirdly, what singer doesn't write break up songs and about the way they were treated? Very few.

Fourthly, what about all the songs she mentions names and they're positive? "Hey Stephen" or a song dedicated to forgiveness for a man who shattered her moment, "Innocent" She writes a lot of decent songs AS WELL AS songs that aren't even about boys at all. If the person who wrote this article knew Taylor at all, they'd know there are MORE positive songs than negative.

Fifthly, the only one complaining in the "Dear John" scenario is Mayer. The song is poetic and clever with its words and its about being broken and hurt, not complaining.

Lastly, how the **** is WE ARE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER painting the boy as a manipulative stalker? Seriously?

This article is someone who is twisting everything this young girl has done with her music. You've got to wonder if any of this is fair.


Pam Griffin 8p 2 years ago

She is a BULLY!! If she keeps it up there wont be a male out there who will date her!!


Janice Baardman 41p 2 years ago

I think she is tremendously talented and a very beautiful young girl. She writes from the heart and I very much doubt there is any intention to harm anyone. She is writing about her life and emotions she experienced in relationships. I see nothing mean about her. Who the songs are about is down to people's own interpretation in most cases. I am not a teen, I am over 50 and find her music and DVD fantastic. What I have seen on this website and also another, is that there are a lot of other "mean" people in the world. I am sure that if a guy wants to be involved with her, they would know she will write about it, so that is there call if they get involved.


Virginia Golden 35p 2 years ago

She bullies my ears with the horrible crap she calls music.


Talia Blumenthal 5p 2 years ago

go **** your self that is not true tay-tay is a kind caring person!


Brent Alfred 18p 2 years ago

Unless you're hanging out with her every weekend, you really only know the personality she portrays. Her songs directed towards specific people after every break-up is actually a notorious characteristic of her music. One that few really do as openly as "Tay-tay" and she's one of the only ones known for this.

She deserves loneliness. Her songs only alienate her and should warn every guy ever to meet her to know to turn and run.

If you can't handle criticism of her like she says even she can't handle, grow up and shut up.


Rebekah O'Dell 5p 2 years ago

i deff agree..
but it seems the only thing thats not gettin back together wit her.. is her legs. take that one Taylor. you deserve the fame and glory ppl give you..


Dave Ginormous 5p 2 years ago

OOOHHHH Just shattered the Teeny Boppers world. You should do a video of yourself under a blanket screaming "Leave Taylor Alone!!!!"


Virginia Golden 35p 2 years ago

If she were really kind and caring she would stop trying to sing.


Katherine Gibbons 15p 2 years ago

It really depends on what the relationship was like with whatever person the song is aimed towards. If the subject of the song was abusive to her in some way then she has every right to speak out about it, that's the right of any victim of abuse, but if the person in question did nothing abusive to her then yes, she is the one being a bully.


Hallow Pah 15p 2 years ago

What about every other break-up song ever written where the public knows who it was written about? I'm not saying that she isn't capitalizing on the attention she gets for this stuff, but every musician writes about their own lives so how is she any different? Adele's entire song catalog is about her love life and I'm pretty sure you can find out his name if you look online long enough. We all know that No Doubt's "Don't Speak" is about her ex Tony Kanal. And Alanis Morrisette's "You Outta Know," arguably the most famous, angry break up song ever? Supposedly about Dave Coulier.

Basically, we just happen to know exactly who she's dating at any given moment because of the media. And now the media is making a big deal about the fact. If you don't want to know who the songs are about, then stop reading celebrity gossip. Immediately after her albums come out, newspapers and magazines and blogs galore dissect who the individual songs might be about...but it's the artist who's the bully?


Mamaie Delafetesti 32p 1 year ago

Well, at least Adele CAN SING.


Jurgens Schoeman 10p 2 years ago

I'd love to date her and treat her like ****, just to see what she comes up with. Even if I were a celebrity... Who cares? If it turns out to be a hit might even sue her afterward for a share in the royalties!


Katie White 30p 2 years ago

Honestly, I don't think she's a bully. She very well may draw inspiration for songs from her real life, real exes, and real feelings, but anyone who's ever written a song or a poem or anything else realizes that you do it to let out the emotion but if a word doesn't fit you change it. If a name sounds good some place you make one up. If a sentiment feels right there but sounds wrong or reads funny you can dramatize it or tone it down or change it all together. Also Back to December is an awful song to call bullying. It's an apology. She very well may have talked to him first, but even then, she's only admitting that she was a jerk and that he was wonderful and that she wishes that she hadn't screwed up. Better than Revenge would have been a great song to make your case with, but even still most people have no clue who she's talking about most of the time. Is it her fault for writing her feelings and having people pick up the songs or is it our fault as listeners for prying and insisting that these instances are based on someone we would know and refusing to quit until we think we know who it is?


Breanna Lee Ann 15p 2 years ago

I think all her ex's should make a song about her and label it maybe you're the problem.


Alex Rosalez 25p 2 years ago

She is bullying and its not long before she does it to other stars like Harry Styles and who ever else she dates


Kassie Haygood 25p 2 years ago

Of course she is. She's a bully and an immature, petty little girl. It's no wonder her exes ran away from her.


Suzanne SHEPARD 55p 2 years ago

Have you ever thought that her relationships end because she does not open her legs. I have heard that in that respect that she is a good girl. Some of these guys, I do not see them waiting around for her to decide. Maybe people should think of that.

I know when I was in high school or even dating after high school, I was a good girl and the guys would break up with me because I did not give out.

I do not believe that she is a bully...she does not mention any names in these songs. Just because people think a song is in relation to any certain guy does not necessarily mean that this song is about John, this is about Joe, this song is about Taylor or this song is about Jake does not necessarily mean that it is. She just simply rights about her feelings after the relationship ended on how she felt during the relationship and about how she felt afterwards.

Believe me if I had the songwriting ability, my experiences with guys would be worse than her experiences at her age.

I think that everyone has their own opinions. Only Taylor, her lost love(s) and God now the truth.

So, unless you know the whole situation, truth, or unless you have actually been there during the relationships and afterwards, who are you to judge?


Josette Beau Pre 20p 2 years ago

The problem here is simply that people have to know every little thing. Taylor doesn't write to be mean to people, I would hope, but she writes because it makes her feel better. It's like she's putting it all on a piece of paper and the way she sings / plays the songs is how she feels. No, she's not a bully, she just like every other girl in the world and the guys need to suck it up and fans need to stop assuming everything.


Amanda Styles 5p 2 years ago

she absolutely does! She bashes her ex boyfriends, that would make every single girl in the planet feel better.. but guess what? Its selfish and a complete abuse of fame and attention. All she's doing is alienating every single man on the planet. Yes she's a great artist, but at what cost? She's only messing up her reputation. Well she did that already. I feel like she pretty much went up against Harry Styles, and considering he's "the most popular member of one direction" and has A HUMONGOUS fanbase.. i knew her reputation would just go down the toilet, after what shes done.


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