Primus - Detachable Penis Lyrics

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I woke up this morning

With a bad hangover

And my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time:

It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time:

I can leave it home

When I think it's going to get me in trouble,

Or I can rent it out

When I don't need it.

But now and then I go to a party,

Get drunk,

And the next morning I can't for the life of me

Remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment

And I couldn't find it

So I called up the place where the party was.

They hadn't seen it either.

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet

(because for some reason I leave it there sometimes)

But not this time.

So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called some other people from the party

But they were no help either.

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I was starting to get desperate.

I really don't like being without my penis for too long.

It makes me feel like less of a man,

And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house

And calling everyone I could think of,

I was starting to get very depressed.

So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.

Then as I walked down Second Avenue

Towards St. Mark's place where all those

People sell used books and other junk on the street,

I saw my penis lying on a blanket

Next to a broken toaster oven.

Some guy was selling it.

I had to buy it off him,

He wanted 22 bucks,

But I talked him down to 17.

I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on.

I was happy again.

Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but,

I don't know. Even though it's sometimes a pain in the ass,

I like having a detachable penis.

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