Eminem - Criminal Lyrics

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[Intro]

A lot of people ask me stupid fucking questions

A lot of people think that what I say on records

Or what I talk about on a record that I actually do in real life

Or that I believe in it

Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody that

I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it

Well shit if you believe that then I'll kill you

You know why? Cause I'm a criminal!

[Verse 1]

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge

That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez

Or the homosex hermaph or a trans-a-vest

Pants or dress hate fags? The answer's "yes"

Homophobic? Nah you're just heterophobic

Staring at my jeans watching my genitals bulging

That's my motherfucking balls you'd better let go of 'em

They belong in my scrotum you'll never get hold of 'em!

"Hey it's me Versace! Whoops somebody shot me!

And I was just checking the mail Get it? Checking the 'male'?"

How many records you expecting to sell

After your second LP sends you directly to jail?

C'mon! Relax guy I like gay men

Right Ken? Give me an amen! (a-men!)

"Please Lord this boy needs Jesus

Heal this child help us destroy these demons

Oh and please send me a brand new car

And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital"

Preacher preacher! 5th grade teacher!

You can't reach me my mom can't neither

You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause

I watch TV and Comcast cable

And you ain't able to stop these thoughts

You can't stop me from topping these charts

And you can't stop me from dropping each March

With a brand new CD for these fucking retards

And to think it's just little old me

Mr. Don't Give a Fuck still won't leave

Lyrics provided by http://www.kovideo.net/

Source - http://www.kovideo.net/criminal-lyrics-eminem-323315.html

[Hook]

I'm a criminal!

Cause every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind. I guess I'm a criminal

But I don't got to say a word I just flip 'em the bird

And keep going I don't take shit from no one

[Verse 2]

My mother did drugs liquor cigarettes and speed

The baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed

It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she

Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me

I'm a criminal an animal caged who turned crazed

But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised?

So as I got older and I got a lot taller

My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger

I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker

And you want to fuck me up for saying the word -----

My morals went thump! when the president got oral

Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk

Off of his own employee now don't ignore me you won't avoid me

You can't miss me I'm white blonde-haired and my nose is pointy

I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die

In plane crashes and laughs as long as it ain't happened to him

Slim Shady I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined "the maniac's in"

Replacing the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today

He's a little under the weather so I'm taking his place

Oh that's Dre with an AK to his face

Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place

I told you Dre you should've kept that thang put away

I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it eh?

[Skit]

[Verse 3]

Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it

So when I rob a bank run out and just dive in it

So I'll be disguised in it

And if anybody identifies the guy in it I'll hide for 5 minutes

Come back shoot the eyewitness

Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business

Die bitches bastards brats pets

This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet

If I ever gave a fuck I'd shave my nuts

Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck

You motherfucking chickens ain't brave enough

To say the stuff I say so just tape it shut

Shit half the shit I say I just make it up

To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass

And if it's not a rapper that I make it as

I'mma be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask

[Hook]

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