Weird Al Yankovic - Constipated Lyrics

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Uh huh extra cheese

Uh huh uh huh save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house

I went just to check it out

Nineteen extra larges

What a shame no one came

Just us eatin' all alone

You said "take the pizza home

No sense lettin' all this go to waste"

So then i faced

Pizza all day and every day

This cheese 'round the clock

Is gettin' me blocked

And i sure don't care for irregularity

Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?

'cause right now i'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated

In the bathroom i sit and i wait and i strain

And i sweat and i clench and i feel the pain

Oh should i take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?

No no no

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I was feelin' pretty down

Till my girlfriend came around

We're just so alike in every way

I gotta say

In fact i just thought i might

Pop the question there that night

I was kissing her so tenderly

But woe is me

Who would have guessed her family crest

I'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh

And son of a gun

It's just like the one on me

Tell me

How was i supposed to know we were both related?

Believe me if i knew she was my cousin we never would have dated

What to do now? should i go ahead and propose

And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes

And move to alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?

No no no

(no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no)

I had so much on my mind

I thought maybe i'd unwind

Try out that new roller coaster ride

And the guide

Said not to stand

But that's a demand that i couldn't meet

I got on my feet and stood up instead

And knocked off my head you see

Tell me

Why'd i have to go and get myself decapitated?

This really is a major inconvenience oh man i really hate it

Such a drag now can't eat i can't breathe i can't snore

I can't belch or yodel anymore

Can't spit or blow my nose or even read sports illustrated

Oh no

Why'd i have to go and get myself all mutilated?

(yeah yeah)

I gotta tell ya life without a head kinda makes me irritated

What a bummer can't blink i can't cough i can't sneeze

But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now

Haven't been the same since my head and i were separated

No no no

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